Domestic abuse is a pattern of controlling another through fear, pressure, or force. It doesn’t always start with—or even include—violence. It can look like jealousy, manipulation, isolation, or control over money, time, or choices. And it can happen in any kind of relationship.
Domestic abuse doesn’t always look like violence. It’s often control. Isolation. Manipulation. It’s psychological, financial, emotional. It’s the quiet dismantling of someone’s agency, stability, and sense of self—sometimes long before anyone sees a bruise.
And it’s everywhere. It crosses every zip code, income bracket, age, and identity. It hides behind closed doors and beneath polite conversations. It shows up in homes, schools, workplaces, courtrooms, and in the systems meant to keep people safe.
Name-calling, constant criticism, threats, blame, or manipulation. It can sound like: “You’re crazy,” “No one else would love you,” or “This is your fault.” It chips away at your confidence and makes you feel unsafe, isolated, or dependent.
Hitting, slapping, pushing, grabbing, choking, restraining, or using weapons. It also includes throwing things, blocking doorways, driving dangerously to scare you, or threatening physical harm—even if they don’t follow through.
Using phones, apps, or online accounts to track, control, or harass you. It can include constant texting, stalking your location, demanding passwords, posting things without your consent, or threatening you online.
Any sexual activity you don’t freely agree to. This includes being pressured, tricked, forced, or coerced into sex or sexual acts. It can also include unwanted touching, degrading comments, or refusing to use protection.
Controlling how you earn, spend, or access money. It might look like: taking your paycheck, racking up debt in your name, refusing to let you work, or demanding receipts for everything you buy.
Sexual abuse is about power and control—not passion or attraction. If someone pressures, forces, manipulates, or guilts you into doing something sexual you don’t want to do, it’s abuse. Even if you’ve said yes before. Even if you’re in a relationship or married. Even if you didn’t fight back or say “no.”
Consent must be given freely—every time—and it can be taken back at any time. What you wear, how you act, or who you’re with is never an excuse. Sexual abuse includes rape (any sexual penetration without consent), but also many other forms of harm. All of them are serious. None of them are your fault.
Here are some examples:
Intimate Partner Violence
Teen Dating Abuse
LGBTQIA+ Relationships
Immigrant Survivors
Elder Abuse
Knowing your rights can help you stay safe and supported in the legal system.
We’ll help you think through your options and make a plan—step by step.
Abuse affects the whole family—but so does healing.
Learn how to listen and offer support to someone you care about.
