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UNRERSTAND ABUSE

Healthy Relationships

At Center for Domestic Peace, we understand the complexities of relationships. We believe that education is key to fostering healthy relationships and preventing domestic abuse.
COMMUNICATION guide

Understanding Relationship Dynamics

Behavior Type

Healthy

Unhealthy

Abusive

Communication
Open, honest, respectful dialogue
Dismissive, sarcastic, poor listening
Yelling, threatening, silent treatment, name-calling
Trust
Mutual trust and respect
Jealousy, checking in constantly
Monitoring, accusing, isolating
Boundaries
Clear, respected boundaries
Pushed or ignored boundaries
No regard for boundaries, controlling behavior
Conflict
Disagreements are calm and respectful
Frequent, passive-aggressive arguing
Intimidation, threats, physical or emotional harm
Independence
Encourages goals and friendships
Guilt for spending time apart
Forbidding independence, financial control
Support
Emotional support and validation
Occasional invalidation or competition
Undermining, belittling, or sabotaging
Accountability
Owning mistakes, apologizing
Making excuses or blaming others
Denying actions, gaslighting, manipulation

Healthy and Equal Relationships for All

At Center for Domestic Peace, we use healthy and equal relationships for all as a framework for healthy boundary setting. This framework is a guideline designed to foster understanding and promote balanced, respectful, and supportive partnerships. This framework emphasizes the importance of equality, communication, trust, and mutual respect in all types of relationships.
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Ten Guidelines for Healthy and Equal Relating:

  1. Be treated with respect by your partner
  2. Not take responsibility for your partner’s abusive behavior
  3. Get angry or say “NO!,” but not to threaten or use force (except in self-defense) against your partner
  4. Make mistakes, change your mind
  5. Have your own feelings, opinions, and convictions, and express them freely
  6. Have your needs be as important as your partner’s needs
  7. Spend time with your family and friends without being accused or pressured by your partner
  8. Negotiate for change in the relationship
  9. Ask for help or emotional support
  10. Protest unfair treatment or criticism
FAQS

Frequently Asked Questions About Abuse

Over the years, we’ve learned what some of the most frequently asked questions about domestic abuse are. Read on to get answers to these common questions about domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse or intimate partner violence.
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What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?

Unhealthy relationships often include patterns of control, disrespect, or fear. Abuse can be physical, emotional, verbal, financial, or sexual. Many people stay in these relationships due to shame, fear, or uncertainty about where to turn.

At Center for Domestic Peace, we want you to know:
You are not alone.
You deserve to live free of abuse.
Help is available.

  1. Superiority and Control
    • Tell you what to do or make most of the decisions?
    • Do all the talking or interrupt you constantly?
    • Blame you for problems or criticize you often?
    • Give you an allowance or restrict your spending?
    • Tell you what you can wear?

    These are all signs of power and control, not love or respect.

  2. Possessiveness and Jealousy
    • Constantly check up on you or accuse you of cheating?
    • Want you all to themselves or put down your friends and family?
    • Scare you or make you feel afraid of their reactions?
    • Pressure you to have sex when you don’t want to?

    Abuse doesn’t stop with separation. Abusers often try to maintain control even after a relationship ends.

  3. Rigid Gender Expectations
    • Women should cook, clean, and be submissive?
    • Men should be dominant, aggressive, or in control?
    • They are the “head of the household” and should be obeyed?

    These unequal beliefs are often used to justify abusive behavior.

Ask yourself if your current or former partner has ever:

  • Slapped, hit, pushed, or shoved you?
  • Held you down, shaken you, or physically restrained you?
  • Thrown things or destroyed your belongings?
  • Locked you out of your home?
  • Humiliated you, either privately or publicly?
  • Controlled your decisions, friendships, money, or freedom?
  • Threatened you, your children, or your immigration status?
  • Pressured or forced you to have sex?
  • Prevented you from working or controlled your finances?
  • Used your children or custody to manipulate or harass you?

If you answered “yes” to any of these, you may be experiencing abuse. And you deserve help.

Yes. Many of the behaviors listed above are not just harmful—they are illegal. Domestic violence is a crime, and support is available to help you safely navigate your options.

You don’t have to face this alone. Center for Domestic Peace is here to help. Whether you’re looking for emergency support, someone to talk to, or help making a plan, we can walk with you every step of the way.

24-Hour Hotline /Linea de apoyo: 415-924-6616

You deserve peace. You deserve safety. You deserve to be free.

Victim’s Rights

All victims have the right to safety, support, and respect. This includes the right to seek legal protection and access services that can help them heal.
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Intimate Parter Violence

Intimate partner violence (IPV) affects individuals regardless of age, gender, or socioeconomic status.
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Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is a serious crime with lasting physical and emotional consequences.
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Effects on Children

Children who witness or experience domestic violence or sexual assault may suffer from a range of emotional, behavioral, and psychological issues.
Know the Signs

SAFETY FIRST

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